I noticed recently,
on my journey of awareness,
that my anger seeps through,
in places I didn’t consider.
When driving earlier,
I was stuck in a lane,
wanting to pull out,
blocked by a number of cars.
Once the majority moved,
one car remained,
they hesitated between,
themselves and me going.
This meant I couldn’t move,
no action was available,
I was hesitating too.
I got angry with them,
it all rose up,
I don’t honk,
I just mutter and murmur.
“Why aren’t you going!?”
“Why are you going then stopping?!”
“Make up your mind.”
Eventually my lane cleared,
and we both continued.
That rage,
which I never thought,
was real rage,
is a sign of capability.
If I can get a “little” mad,
at such a simple situation,
in real hard times,
I must really be exploding.
I know this is partly me,
partly watching others do the same,
my mum used to scream,
tantrum and let it eat her.
Some of that probably,
seeped subconsciously into me,
but,
that’s no reason to continue.
In this instance,
I told myself that I was wrong,
that person just wanted to help,
my perception and focus was off.
This anger, I will add,
to the list of things,
I want to understand better.
So I can diminish the reaction,
and be capable,
of letting it flutter by.